THE GIFT OF BIBLICAL FEMININITY

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  (Matthew 19:4-6)

This article is all about a precious gift that God has given women; the gift of authentic biblical femininity.  So, why did I begin with this verse about marriage?  This verse probably means more to me than any other verse.  Let me explain.

I, like many others, was raised in the home stricken by divorce.  After years of trying to find that special someone, I was left with the idea that I just wasn’t meant to be married.  And I felt very strongly about that.  To me, love was something that didn’t last.  I believed that love was something that you “fall into.”  Therefore, I reasoned that it was something that you could also “fall out of.”  And, unfortunately, this was not just my perception; it was my experience.

I praise God that He changed my heart on this matter.  In February of 2005, I surrendered my life to Christ.  Not long after that, I met Paige (my wife).  I had never met a woman of such purity.  Over the next few months, God took me to the cleaners.  He took me to a place where I realized that my relationship with Christ was the most important relationship I could have.  I decided that, if it was God’s will that I live a life of celibacy, I was fine with that.  Thankfully, not long after that, He clearly showed me that this was not His will; that He had set someone apart just for me.

Paige and I began courting in January of 2006.  Neither of us knew all that we know now about biblical courtship, but we definitely did things differently than the cultural norm.  And as we went along together, and learned more about this, we changed some things.  We didn’t do everything perfectly, but our hearts were following Christ, and by His grace, we kept ourselves pure.

Early on in our relationship, I had to come clean about something.  I knew that I loved her and that I wanted to marry her, but I was scared to make any kind of commitment because, to me, love was something that could dissolve at the drop of a hat.  I told her about this.  I told her that I was scared to love her.  I feared that her love for me might wear off one day.  We committed ourselves to praying about it.

The next morning, I woke up humming a familiar tune.  I wasn’t sure where it had come from.  I was humming a verse from a Jason Upton song, which said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate it.”  That verse continued in my head all morning.  Then it hit me.  That’s not just a song!  That’s a Bible verse!  It was incredible.  God was showing me, through His Word, that He would not let anyone tear our love apart, as long as we made Him the center of our marriage.

So, now that you understand that godly marriages don’t just happen, let me talk to you about biblical femininity.  After all, Jesus Christ has been the most instrumental in changing my life.  And of course, He set for us the example of ultimate purity.  But, other than Christ himself, I can think of no better example of purity than my precious wife.  And, as I love her as Christ loved the church, my daughter(s) will see how precious a gift it is to become a woman that embraces the gift of biblical femininity.  And, by the grace of God, my daughter(s) will grow up to be like my wife.

I’ve showed you that a virtuous woman is far more valuable than all the riches in the world.  But unfortunately, this is foreign to most parents in our culture today.

I don’t know if you went to any of the county fairs this year.  But if you did, I am sure you noticed how the young (and I mean young) girls dress when they go out.  Many of them resemble the hookers you see on the corner of Trade and Tryon.  You wanna know what is really sad about that?  These girls get out of minivans that their parents drop them off in!  Those parents are the ones I really want to strangle.  How could a loving mom or dad allow their precious little girl to go out dressed like that?  I don’t have to get descriptive.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.

It doesn’t have to be like this mom and dad.  It really doesn’t.  Did you know that there was a time in this nation when modesty was taught?  That’s right.  And there was a time that innocent little girls were taught that embracing biblical femininity was far more important than becoming a successful business woman.

I’ve been off work all week and have been able to spend alot more time with my precious daughter, Olivia.  I get to take her on dates.  I get to tuck her in at night.  I get to do many things that I’m not able to do when working all day.  After putting her to bed the other night, I went to exercise when I heard her crying.  By her cry, I knew she was not gonna go back to sleep, so I went in to rock her.  In the still of the night, as I was rocking her to sleep, she started patting the back of my neck.  I could tell that she felt so secure in my arms.  Things like that are so special to me.

I started to think of things like, “Will she ever have to experience a broken heart?”  I’m not sure why that popped in my head.  But, do you know the answer to that?  She, in no way, will ever have to experience that.  Many would probably think I’m crazy to say something like that.  But why does that sound so crazy?  Is it because what I said is untrue, or is it because our culture has trained us into thinking this way?  We think that a broken heart is something that children just have to go through.  We think that dating is just part of growing up.  That is a lie from the pit of hell.  You know why they have to go through that?  Because we think it’s cute when they have a boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school.  We think it’s cute when they talk about their first kiss, that they experienced on the playground.  Well, you wanna hear something a whole lot cuter.  My wife experienced her first kiss on the altar.  You wanna know why?  Because she was not raised according to the standards set down by our culture.  She was raised according to the standards of Jesus Christ; the Word of Almighty God!

Anytime someone finds out that my wife and I experienced our first kiss on the altar, that person can hardly believe it.  That really bugs me.  Yes, I am grateful of this, but this should not be a freak thing.  This should be the norm.  And at one point in time, this was the norm.  Purity was held in high esteem.  Women were treasured far above rubies.  Now, it is the other way around.  If only we would once again begin to teach our girls that biblical femininity is a gift from God; that it is far better to be godly than it is to be wealthy or “successful.”  When little girls start to realize the value of this gift, we won’t have to worry about them just giving it away to any little boy that comes along.  No.  They will cherish it.

But this will only happen, dad, when you cherish it.  That’s right, I said, “dad”, because dad is far more responsible than mom.  Dad, you need to be the man that God has called you to be.  You need to set an example to your little girl(s).  Show her what a real man is like.  Open doors for her.  Take her on dates.  Kiss her on the hand.  And don’t stop hugging and kissing her, just because she starts growing up.  Let her know that her daddy loves her.  Let her know how much you love her mother.  But also let her know that you love Jesus Christ more than anything or anyone.  And let her know that she should never marry anyone that is not as godly as you are.  And Dad, it’s your responsibility to make sure that never happens.

Let her know that biblical femininity is a gift from God; that becoming a godly wife and mother is far more important than becoming “successful.”  And when I say, “successful”, I mean it the way our culture defines it.  Dad, if you do that, you won’t have to worry about her wanting to date.  Dating is nothing more than practice for divorce.  And, when she becomes a woman of virtue; a woman of God; she will glory in God’s wonderful gift of biblical femininity.  And God will give her to a man that He has raised up to lead her in love and righteousness.

And when this happens, living happily ever after, is no longer a fairy tale.  Will it be a bumpy ride at times?  Of course.  But when a husband and wife make Christ the center Thread in their marriage, there aren’t enough minions of Hell to tear them apart.

I hope that you will not just let this message fade away.  Training our children in the fear of God is the answer to overcoming this culture in which we live.  Don’t beat yourself up if this message sounds completely radical to you.  This type of message is as rare as a comet these days.  I would encourage you to read an article I wrote on biblical manhood.  Also, let me know if Paige or I can help you in anyway.  I have written other articles on this subject and have many resources that can prepare you to raise your children God’s way.

http://ifmypeople.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/is-there-a-scriptural-basis-for-courtship/

In Christian love,
Adam Tennant