ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE…RIGHT?

Before reading this, I would highly suggest that you read an article my wife (Paige) wrote, called “Our Story.”  I posted it to my blog. https://ifmypeople.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/our-story/

In 1965, The Beatles performed the song, “All You Need Is Love” on a live global television link that was watched by 400 million people in 26 countries.

Isn’t that sweet.  “All we need is love.”  Don’t you hear that all the time?  What is it that is lifted up at weddings everyday?  Love.  Right?  Sure, because…that’s all you need…right?  WRONG!!!

John Lennon was flat-out wrong.  Their statement, which has been more than embraced by our culture is in complete contradiction to the word of God.  You can thank The Beatles for the sixties “love and peace” garbage.  We saw how that one worked out.  The truth is, though they meant to say it or not, The Beatles were declaring that you don’t need God to have peace.  You just need love.  Well, I would submit to you that you can have neither one without first having Christ!

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” I wish it would become a requirement for this verse to be expounded upon at every wedding.  You see, we have bought into Hollywood’s version of love.  You know, the one where Cupid shoots you with an arrow and all of the sudden you “fall in love.”  Well, I’ve got news for you.  If you can “fall in love”, you can “fall right out of love.”  Love alone won’t cut it when the going gets tough.  That’s why we need Christ as the centerpiece.  Period.

Why have I started in this way?  Because you need to understand that, though Paige and I are madly in love with each other, it was not our love that brought us together.  Nor, is it our love that is keeping us together.  It’s the Third Cord.  When you read Paige’s story of how she was led to me, it is easy to think, “Awww…how sweet…the two little love birds.”  But if that’s how you read it, you missed something.  You see, though Paige and I have travelled completely different paths, there is one thing we have perfectly in common.  Both of us fully surrendered our lives to God…especially our love lives.

Many girls reach an age when they decide they are ready to pursue the opposite sex, so they do so.  Despite the cultural norm, Paige did something completely different.  She committed herself to God and to praying for her future husband.  She was putting her trust in God; that He would do what was right.  Praise God that He did.

As Paige said in her article, I had never met her when she committed to praying for me.  So, it was January 3, 2004 that she made this commitment.  I can honestly say, that the year of 2004 was life changing for me.

On February 24th of that year, “The Passion Of The Christ” was released.  In January of that year, my roommate at the time convinced me to go watch this movie with him.  I was a big “Braveheart” fan, so I figured it would be good.  He also talked me into reading the passion account from each of the four gospels.

I not only read that, but after watching the movie, I continued to read God’s Word.  It wasn’t every night, but I read it pretty often.  I knew there was something to this book.  The movie had really opened my eyes and I no longer viewed Christians in the negative light that I had in the past.  Oh, I knew that because they were emotional, didn’t dictate truth.  But, I knew I had better check into it for myself.

Over the next year, God used several key things to open my eyes to the fact that I was lost in my sin and my only hope was Christ.  Finally, in February of 2005, I crawled to the foot of a blood-stained cross and surrendered.  Jesus saved me.

It wasn’t long after that that I met Paige.  The first time we met, we shook hands and greeted each other and that was it.  I hardly had the time to put much thought into it, but I knew something was different about this young lady.  And, though she truly is the most beautiful woman in the world, it wasn’t her outward beauty that attracted me to her.  It was her walk with Christ.

Over the next few months, we became good friends.  I really needed a good friend at this point because, though I had been saved, I was still struggling with my sin.  And I was fighting for my life with a ten-year-old drug addiction.  I am so thankful that she did not let me know how she felt about me.  Because, had we gotten involved at this period in my life, the outcome would have been devastating.

Then comes August 19, 2005.  That night, as I was in a prayer meeting, I realized that I could not win my fight against my addictions.  So I threw my hands up and gave it to God.  That might sound trite to you, but that’s what I did.  You see, I didn’t understand that God was the kind of God that overcomes sin.  That night, I realized that my sin was not only hurting me and others.  My sin was hurting God.

I truly surrendered all of my life to Him that night, and He truly set me free.  The next day, I had to drive down to South Carolina for my step-brother’s wedding.  I was so full of the Holy Spirit, I could hardly contain myself.  It was on that trip, that God showed me that Paige would be my wife.  He also, clearly showed me that I was not ready yet.  As I was praying in my car, I realized that the only way a relationship with Paige would ever work is if I had the right relationship with Christ.

On the way back, I still remember buying Paige a little package of fireworks.  That was the first thing I ever bought her.  I was so excited to give them to her.  I know…that’s cheezy, but I really enjoy giving things to her and I knew that she loved fireworks.

So, that was August of 2005.  Over the next four months, God took me on quite a journey.  I’ll make this brief.  In October, I lost my job.  I was designing shirts with alcohol on them and I knew I could no longer do that.  When I told that to my boss, he fired me.  Well, I had a new job (my current job) the next day.  Let’s just say that God definitely blessed me on that one.

Before starting this new job, I went on my first pro-life mission trip to Wichita, KS with Operation Save America.  I followed men of God like Flip Benham and Scott Heldreth down there and met up with saints like Mark Hollick, Rusty Thomas and John Reyes.  Those are some special people.

I remember calling Paige from Wichita, telling her that revival had broken out.  One of the high schools that we had shared the gospel to, came to our church that Sunday to protest us.  Many of them got saved that morning.

On the way back, I spent a week helping Hurricane Katrina an Rita victims in Texas and Louisiana.  That was pretty fun too.

It was trips like this, along with going to the abortion clinic with Flip, that caused me to grow leaps and bounds.  Well, that and a heavy dose of daily Bible reading.

Finally, in December of 2005, I got clearance from God that I was ready to pursue Paige.  Now, this was no audible voice or anything.  I just felt the peace that I had His blessing.

So, the first thing I did was call my youth pastor.  He and I were pretty close at the time and he knew that I wanted to do things right with Paige.  I had listened to quite a few sermons on purity and I was fully convinced that God has a particular way in which he wants us to go about pursuing the opposite sex.

I asked Pastor Mark Miles if he thought I was ready and he said “yes.”  After that, my plan was to talk with Paige’s father, Allen, one night at church.  I didn’t have the chance to talk to him alone, so I decided to put it off until next week.

There is no telling how long I would have put it off.  Though Allen is a really nice guy, I was still very nervous about talking to him.  Finally, something happened that, as Paige said, lit a fire under my tail.

I saw another guy going after her, so I called Allen that night.  Yes, I wish I had talked with him face to face, but like Paige said, we didn’t do everything perfectly.

So I called Allen and told him that I would like to pursue a future with his daughter.  He gave me the green light, so I asked Paige the next day.  Obviously, she said, “yes.”

Like Paige said in her article, we were learning as we went.  I had listened to many sermons on purity.  I first heard the idea of not kissing until marriage from a pastor in Seattle named Judah Smith.  Instantly, I knew that that’s what God wants.  So, we agreed that we would wait until we were married for that.  And, yes, we talked about marriage early on.  That’s a major difference between courtship and marriage.  We weren’t just practicing for divorce.  We knew, before starting anything, that this thing was serious.

Early on in our relationship, I had to come clean about something.  I knew that I loved her and that I wanted to marry her, but I was scared to make any kind of commitment because, to me, love was something that could dissolve at the drop of a hat.  I told her about this.  I told her that I was scared to love her.  I feared that her love for me might wear off one day.  We committed ourselves to praying about it.

The next morning, I woke up humming a familiar tune.  I wasn’t sure where it had come from.  I was humming a verse from a Jason Upton song, which said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate it.”  That verse continued in my head all morning.  Then it hit me.  That’s not just a song!  That’s a Bible verse!  It was incredible.  God was showing me, through His Word, that He would not let anyone tear our love apart, as long as we made Him the center of our marriage.

From that point on, things were different.  I not only knew that Paige was the one, but I trusted God that He would hold us together.  Praise God.

Another revolutionary moment was when I first listened to Paul Washer.  He laid out for me what courtship really was, and also what dating really was.  I found out that, though we were doing many things the right way, we were also doing many things that could take us places we didn’t want to go.

So, we purposed in our hearts to do right and changed the way we were going about things.  Our main goal was to not spend time together at my house.  So, from then on, I would go to her house, when her parents were home.  That way, we were keeping ourselves from dangerous situations, as well as abstaining from the very appearance of evil.

Let’s go ahead and fast forward to October 21, 2006.  Around a week beforehand, I sat down with her parents and got their blessing to marry their daughter.  But, just so you all know that I’m not some romantic, “knight in shining armor,” let tell you about the day I planned.  This being the day I would propose to my wife.  First, I took her to the Lexington Barbeque Festival to go witnessing.  Then, I had to meet at the Mazda dealership to get rid of my sportscar, in exchange for a four door (I knew God wanted me to eliminate as much debt as possible before opening the next door in our relationship.)  Then, it got a little more romantic.

I cooked dinner for Paige at my house.  Yes, I know.  We were alone at my house.  Like I said, we didn’t do everything perfectly.  But, in this case, even if I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t.  The night, in my opinion, was perfect.

I had tried to conceal this night, by celebrating her birthday early.  So, after dinner, I gave her a tiled mirror as a gift.  At this point, I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life.  I just went ahead and did it anyway.  I knew I would trip over every word, so I prepared a poem for her.  Toward the end of the poem, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry her.  Of course, she said, “yes.”

Not long after that, we set the date to get married on April 14, 2007.  What a wonderful day.  I still remember that day sovividly.  As I paced behind the altar, and the worship music was being played, I felt so close to God.  I thought about the journey I had been on.  And I knew that what He was about to join together, no one would ever be able to separate.

I cannot tell you the joy of sharing our first kiss on the altar.  So, I won’t even try.

There you have it…our love story.  Now one thing I don’t want you to take from this is that we are, in any way, boasting about what WE did to make this happen.  Again, all we did was, in the best way we knew how, submit our lives to Christ.  He did it.  Not us.  We are boasting in Him.

I started this article with a Beatles song, and I’ll end it with another song that is a slap in the face to biblical truth.  There is a song, that they even play on Christian radio which talks about how God will bless the broken road that you travelled to get to where you are today.  If you don’t mind, I’d like to show you the biblical way to look at our pasts.  You see, Paige kept herself pure for me.  And that was the greatest gift she ever gave me.  Unfortunately, I did not do the same for her.  For many years, I walked down “a broken road” full of sin, sexual immorality and rebellion.  And, trust me, God never blessed it.

Just so you know, that “broken road” has a name.  It is the wide road that leads to destruction.  God will never bless that road.  But here’s what He will do.  He will take you, smash you to pieces, create a brand new you, and set you on the narrow road that leads to life.

So, I’m not going to sing about my past.  I hate my past because it was full of sin.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have great family and friends from my past.  I’m not talking about that.  I’m talking about my sin.  I will never boast about it.  I am ashamed of it and always will be.

Let me finish with two very important lessons.

First of all, though God can wash all of your sins away and make you into a new creation, there are still consequences for your actions.  I have scars that will never go away.  So, if you are living in any kind of impurity, and think that you can just confess it to God and it will all go away, you are mistaken.

But, on the other hand, I know that for many of you reading this, it’s too late.  You’ve already stepped across that line.  Here’s my message to you.  God is a God of redemption.  When you come to him, poor in spirit, and mourn over your sin, he can take your life of ash and turn it into a thing of beauty.  He will, of course, smash you to pieces first.  But when He is finished, you will be a new creation.  And all things will be brand new.  So, though John Lennon penned that “all you need is love,” he was dead wrong.  All you need is Christ…

OUR STORY

By:  Paige Tennant (my wife)

I have been encouraged by some, to write a note on how Adam and I met, and the love story behind it. I do love to tell it, and am excited to be able to write it. There is a lot to it, so it may be kind of lengthy, and I am sure there are typos and errors, but I don’t have the time right now to do lots of editing.

Our Story

Growing up, when all my friends were dating in middle and high school…let’s just say the guys were not knocking down the door to get to know me! I was awkward, very insecure, and incredibly shy. While those aren’t godly attributes, I do thank God that guys weren’t just dying to talk to me…or this could be a very different story. I had crushes, like every other person. I got disappointed. And most of the guys that did approach me, well, lets just say I was FAR from interested in them. God kept me from having my heart broken. even before I learned what courtship was all about. Even though all my friends who dated, seemed to be having a blast, it sure wasn’t pretty when they broke up.

Let’s fast forward to when I am sixteen ( I think). My youth leaders did a series on courtship. It was a curriculum called “A Match Made in Heaven” by Richard Crisco. It discussed the dangers of dating and how dating is actually practicing for divorce. I won’t cover all the material because there is way too much. But, it was then that I realized that I wanted God’s best. It was hard. I didn’t necessarily commit to the courtship process, but I tried my hardest to keep my heart only for my future husband alone.

In the years that followed, I grew much as a person. I slowly came out of my shell. I was growing in the Lord, and accepting who HE made me to be. I wasn’t supposed to be like all the other girls. He made me different. He made us all different. It is so liberating when we realize this and just learn to be ourself! I devoured resources that encouraged purity. I will list them at the bottom if you are so inclined to read…for yourself or for your children.

So now to the really good stuff! Pay attention to the dates. It was the first Saturday night in January 2004. January 3rd to be exact. At that time, we had prayer on Saturday nights at the church. I was praying, and suddenly, the Lord impressed it on my heart to pray for my future husband, right then. I had no idea who this person was. I wasn’t interested in anyone, and I didn’t know of anyone interested in me. It was strange, but I prayed anyway. I had read about people praying for their future spouse on a regular basis. There had been times when I prayed about it, if it popped in my head, but nothing consistent. But, this night changed everything.

For the next two days, I pondered why God had me pray for this man. It was a feeling of urgency. So two days later, on January 5th, I began to journal heavily about all that I was dealing with. This journal saw many emotions. This journal saw a lot of growth. I was committed to this man I never met. I prayed for him as often as I thought about it…which was probably close to every day. Not fancy prayers. I would just breathe prayers of protection of his life, or that God would help him resist temptation. Things like that.

As I wrote, God showed me other things. It wasn’t just about praying for him. I needed prayer, too. I surely wasn’t wife material. There were things in me that God had to do before I could hope to be ready for the amazing thing called marriage.

So all of 2004 goes by, and nothing. No knight in shining armor for me! Then 2005 begins and…same thing. One night, I think late February, I was introduced to a visitor at our church, a guy named Adam. It was just kind of a quick handshake and “nice -to-meet-you” sort of thing. He begins attending our church on a regular basis. He is a nice guy…not to mention good looking…but that’s about it. Then he starts talking to me. Nothing major, just friendly stuff. I notice that he seems to actually LIKE talking to me, and sought me out to talk to me. I liked this. But, there were some problems. He had just become a Christian in February and was still battling an addiction to painkillers. It was tough, because in my heart, I really, really liked him.But, I knew a relationship with him just could not happen. Not then anyway.

In August 2005, things dramatically changed. Adam was miraculously delivered from his addiction to drugs. But, it was much more than just deliverance from bad addictions. He grew in the Lord by HUGE leaps and bounds. I really don’t think I have ever seen a transformation, with my own eyes, quite like Adam. He began to read the Bible everyday. Since that time, I think he has missed only one or two days of reading since 2005! Incredible. While I watched all this, I was so excited! I started to see qualities in him develop that I desired in my future husband. But, I still knew I had to give it time. Growing up in church, it was so common to see people passionate and on-fire, only to have them go back to their worldly ways and never see them again. I had to know that this change was real, and wasn’t a fleeting passion. We continued to grow as friends. Hardly anyone knew of my feelings toward Adam, though my flesh wanted at least him to know. I think the only ones who knew were my mom, and one close friend who I knew wouldn’t share this with anybody. I felt it was important to keep quiet about it, because the last thing I needed was some “friend” telling me to tell Adam how I felt. Or better yet, having that “friend” tell Adam how I felt. So, I continued to wait.

This next part is kinda funny. January 2 (I think) of 2006. I am attending a church meeting. My pastor introduces me to another young man and is speaking highly of him. Basically, this guy wanted to know if he could call me. This gentleman did not attend our church, but I knew of him. I did give the guy my phone number, but felt weird about it. While flattered, the whole time, I was thinking about Adam. That’s who I wanted! But, since he hadn’t voiced any feelings or anything to me, I couldn’t think of an excuse not to (though I could think of a few now!). Adam was also attending this meeting, and as it turns out, was in earshot of this conversation. This sorta lit a fire under his tail.

The next few days were very conflicting for me. This guy would call. He was nice and all, but I really wasn’t interested. And I didn’t know how to tell that to him, in a nice, honest way. One of my many flaws, is that I beat around the bush…and the person on the receiving end doesn’t seem to get the point. My heart agonized, because I did not want to, in any way, lead this guy on. But, then I thought, maybe I should give this a chance. Maybe this is who God has for me, and not Adam.

Then comes a really good day! January 5, 2006. Adam and I met up for lunch at the yummy K&W! We had met for lunch frequently prior to all of this, so this was not unusual. Earlier that morning, my mom told me it was going to be a good day. So I was expecting something. Not sure what…but something! We eat all of our lunch, and nothing. Just normal conversation. Finally, we both are getting to leave and head back to our jobs. I can’t remember exactly all he said. I think he just blurted out “Um, what are you doing Saturday night?”. Haha! Unfortunately, I really did have plans that night. But was quick to say maybe another night. When I told him, he then proceeded to tell me that he would like to begin a relationship with me and that he called my dad the night before to ask his permission! I’ve heard about young men asking the lady’s father for permission to marry their daughter, but not to begin a relationship. It was very honorable of him to seek my father’s permission before entering into a relationship. I was on cloud nine! The whole day I don’t think I could stop smiling. Shortly after, I realized the significance of this day…it was 2 years to the DAY that I began journaling about him! I was blown away! Talk about timing! God’s timing.

So begins our courtship. Like I said before, we weren’t perfect, and if we could go back, there are things we would do differently. But, early on we were committed to purity. It was awesome, because Adam was actually the one who thought we should save our first kiss for the wedding day. He was not interested in just dating. From the beginning, marriage was in mind. It was so great to not be physically involved, because we really got to know each others personalities really well. We were (and are) very different, but we learned how those things can complement each other.

My birthday is on November 7th. But, this particular year I was going to be away the on weekend of my birthday. Adam wanted to celebrate it early. We decided that we would get together to celebrate it on October 21.

He made dinner for me and gave me this beautiful mirror that I LOVE! Then he hands me this piece of paper and wants me to read aloud. I start getting a hunch at whats going on, but try not to go crazy in case I was wrong. The Paper read :

To My Beautiful Paige

To my beautiful Paige, I give my heart.
To explain my love, where should I start?
First of all; the day I saw you I fell in love.
Now, I know God sent you, like a gift from above.
Knowing you love me is such a blessing to me.
God unlocked my heart, but you were His key.
Knowing that I can love you and you’ll love me back;
I promise my love for you will never grow slack.
What a journey it’s been, falling in love with you.
I’m so much in love, I hardly know what to do.
I think about you all day; morning, noon and night.
I imagine our future what a beautiful sight.
Speaking of our future, I want to do things right.
I could hardly wait for this wonderful night.
I went to your folks and they said O.K.
Now I hope I don’t trip over the words I say.
Just the thought of this moment makes my blood pressure rise.
So just put down this paper so I can look into your eyes…

I wish I could remember verbatim what he said at this point! I know he told me that he loved me and asked if I would marry him. He then opened a box with an incredibly gorgeous ring in it! Of course, without even seeing the ring my answer was a big, fat “YES!” But, let me tell you about this ring. Us women love to look at pictures of engagement rings and wedding dresses and all that good stuff. I liked the princess cut, but I really liked the emerald cut diamond ring. I never told Adam what I liked, but I did tell my friend (now sister-in-law) what I liked and so he found out through her. It was a stunning ring.

After that ring was placed on my finger, he proceeded to tell me something I didn’t know about emerald cut diamonds. For that particular size and cut, the diamond has to be very pure, or it will be easy to spot imperfections. He added, that knowing this reminded him of me and my desire to remain pure! Wow! I was so blown away. What a beautiful gift!

Shortly after, we decided on a wedding date of April 14, 2007. During our engagement the Lord strongly revealed some areas that we needed to change. When we compare ourselves to others, its easy to justify certain actions. But when the Holy Spirit convicts us, no matter how good we think we are, we had better obey. Adam had his own home and had a roommate living there. And we hung out there a lot of the time. Again, we were strong and really would just hang out and talk or watch a movie. But, there are a few things very wrong about this. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says “Abstain from all appearance of evil”. In 1 Corinthians 8 it talks about not being a stumbling block to others. It just didn’t look good, me being there with him, many times alone. We were involved in youth ministry and how would this have looked to them? We may have been strong and in control of ourselves, but this was sending a message to them that they could do this with no problems as well. By the grace of God alone, we were strong. But, had we had one weak moment, things could have changed dramatically. It’s like playing with fire. I am not saying you can never, ever be alone. But there are principles in the courtship process that allow for that in a safer environment then your boyfriends home or apartment. My mom had even warned me about it not looking good, even though she trusted us, but I just shrugged it off (outwardly), though it was still deep in my thoughts. The kind of thoughts you just tuck away and choose not to think of. But in January of ’07. God dealt with us and Adam decided that I shouldn’t come over anymore. He would start coming to my house ( I lived with my parents) a lot more. It’s hard when you know you have sinned against God, but such grace when you repent and do things completely the right way!

FINALLY- April 14th arrives! This was a perfect day in every way. I wasn’t nervous. I was sure and really happy! Of course, there was excitement and a little nervousness about the wedding and all those people watching me, and just the fact that I was getting ready to vow my life to another person. But I was sure and I knew this was the man that God designed for me to be with. The weather was perfect. Things ran smoothly. Well except for one part. I had read of a couple who had a footwashing in there ceremony. If you recall in the Bible. where Jesus washed the feet of his disciples as a symbols of servanthood and humility . We wanted to symbolically say, ” I will serve you”. It was a beautiful moment except for when it was my turn to wash his feet, trying to put a dress sock on a damp foot wasn’t easy! You had to be there….it was just funny! But it was a perfect ceremony. We exchanged rings, and vows. ” The pastor then pronounces ” Mr. and Mrs. Adam Tennant….you may kiss the bride”! That long-awaited kiss finally came! A beautiful kiss! Such a good kiss, I asked him for another one there at the altar! It was surreal and I felt like I was floating! God truly had the best for me in every way. Be encouraged to wait on the Lord and not take things into your own hands.

And that’s the beginning of our journey, The romance didn’t die at the honeymoon, either. He is still so loving toward me. We aren’t perfect and are still learning so much about one another. But I have to say it has been something I would do all over again in a heartbeat! He is an amazing man and I love him to death!

Sorry this was so lengthy, but I felt it was good to get it all down for my own personal use as well. Feel free to look at some of the wedding pictures in one of my Facebook albums!

Thanks for reading!

ON THE PATH TO PURITY…
Here are great resources to assist you on the journey

GUYS
” God’s gift to Women”-Eric Ludy
“Every Young Man’s Battle”
“Who moved the Goalposts?”-Bob Gresh
“The Purity Challenge”
“The Scottish Chiefs”-Jane Porter

LADIES
“Every Young Woman’s battle”
“Authentic Girl”-Leslie Ludy
When God Writes Your Love Story” Eric and Leslie Ludy
“When Dreams Come True” Eric and Leslie Ludy
“And the Bride wore White” Dannah Gresh
“Passion and Purity” -Elizabeth Elliot
“A Return to Modesty” -Wendy Shalit
“Wait for Me”-Rebecca St.James

GUYS AND GIRLS
“Choosing God’s Best”- Dr. Don Rannikar
“I Kissed Dating Goodbye”-Joshua Harris
“Boy Meets Girl”-Joshua Harris
“Sex is not the problem (lust is)”-Joshua Harris

WEBSITES
http://www.ericandleslie.com
http://www.authenticgirl.com
http://www.purefreedom.org

Ladies-Go to http://www.grantedministries.org, then click on articles and scroll down to “Becoming Esther” by Charo Washer…it’s Fantastic!